I had an appointment almost two weeks ago now. It was a very weird appointment. I left a little frustrated. I do not know what it is, well not really. I can imagine, but the last few times I have gone to the doctor I have been an emotional mess. You remember the doctor asking me if I was sure there was one? Well that has been on my mind, especially with SO many people telling me how big I am and if I am sure it is just one! (People can say the dumbest things sometimes). Well, I do not think I posted this, but around 14 wks I had some bleeding, nothing big! I actually was not worried at first, but then Casey started questioning me and really got me to thinking, so then I began to worry. So I called the doctor on call (not mine) and to say the least he did not have the best bed side manners. He really upset me, but told me I was fine. He actually acted like he was annoyed that I called him over something so minimal. That was on a Saturday. I did nothing the rest of the weekend and called my doctor on Monday. He said he thought it was nothing, but come in and I will check you out and ease your mind. So I did that following Monday afternoon. He said everything was fine and the heart beat was great, but still did not do an ultra sound. He told me not to worry, but if I felt anxious or worried to come in again next week or so and I will check you out again and I do an ultra sound if that will make you feel better. My appointment was in about 10 days so I was on edge but figured I could wait until then. My attitude was..."I am not leaving this office without an ultra sound!" So I get there and it is not my regular nurse, which was fine. She was so sweet and she could tell I was a little emotional. She said "the ultra sound technician was not here today, but Dr. Macey can do it. I will just go ahead and pull the machine and put it in your room." So I was feeling better when I went into the room seeing the machine a hands length distance away. Dr. Macey comes in and says "What's the problem? you still spotting?" I said no, but I just think I would feel better if I could have the ultra sound, remember you mentioned last time you would give me one if I still was not feeling 100% about everything. So he said let's check you out. He said I look great, measuring right and heart beat was good. He saw no reason to do a ultra sound. UGH!!!!! I could feel my voice cracking. Like I said I am emotional wreck when I go in there. I think it is overwhelming with the reality that I AM PREGNANT after so long and going through so much to get here, plus I am hypersensitive to EVERYTHING. I told him I wish I was high risk (not really, but I want the treatment). I am sure all first time moms are a little hypersensitive and without a pity party I really think I should have constant assurance that everything is ok. I know I sound a little needy, which drives me crazy, because I am not that kind of person, but in this situation, I am!
I told Casey last night that I am ready for this pregnancy to be over! I have been lucky and not had any sickness or problems, but I want my baby here and in my arms, which I know will come with a whole new set of worries, but I am just ready to see him or her. Not much longer as far as knowing the sex. Two weeks from yesterday. We are so excited and chomping at the bit! I will keep you posted! Love you all!
