Monday, April 19, 2010

Decisions

Well, we experienced our 3rd failed attempt at an IUI. I always try to stay positive and think every month that I truly am pregnant. This last time we both REALLY thought it was going to happen. So many things just made it seem like the month! I had the best follicles and numbers that I have ever had, Casey had the best count and mobility number that he had ever had, we would have been due December 24th (which I have always said I am NEVER having a baby around Christmas; mine is 10 days after and I hate it; but right now I do not care if I am in labor Christmas day! bring it on, thirds times a charm, etc...just lots of little things happened and it felt like everything was aligning correctly.
This is all so crazy and something you feel like you are experiencing all by yourself. We do not personally know anyone going through it. I am not sure if it would help if we did though?

Decisions: Adoption, IVF, take a break, Ahhhh....what to do, what to do??
I am not sure why, but adoption is just something I really cannot see myself doing right now. My mind may change. Right now I just think of keep trying treatments or just give up? Not sure how to just give up? Financially I am SO ready to give up. All I can think about is the money, which is extremely stressful. It is crazy to think that we could pay $12,000 and still not become pregnant and have to pay on a loan for a year knowing you still do not have a baby. They want to do a SPA (Semen Penetration Analysis) on Casey to see if his guys know how to penetrate an egg. That sounds so crazy to me! Yes, it makes sense, but still crazy! If that is the case then IVF is our only way of becoming pregnant. The average % rate of becoming pregnant through IVF is 42%, which does not seem high enough with everything you have to go through...financially, emotionally, physically, etc...It is so draining. So many decisions to be made.