Why do I do this to myself...

I guess it is because I never want to give up hope. Every month I think I am pregnant. I want to get pregnant like the rest of the world, which it seems like it is EVERYWHERE around me. So last time I went to the doctor I was a little frustrated b/c I did not get the news that I wanted and found out that I had already ovulated. So last week when I started not feeling well, was VERY tired this week (in bed by like 8pm at the latest), had some acid reflux I started getting excited. WHY?? that is what I ask myself. I seriously become hyper pregnant every month. Today is Day 31 and I have never gone past 31. I have not felt like I was going to start all day. So I went to the drug store and got a pregnancy test. I was taking it in the morning! Then I was not home for 15 mins before I started feeling like I was about to start. I go to the bathroom...BAM! Seriously? I HATE THIS!! I truly do. I am fine, I am going to be fine I tell myself. I try not to get upset. I tell myself that I knew it was not going to happen, don't get upset. Yes, I have to tell myself this-you truly have no idea how this feels. I would never wish this upon anyone. So I get on the computer and check facebook...bad idea. I was looking and you know how it changes your friends on the side? well I see an ultrasound picture with a Santa Hat as a profile picture, click, yep! a guy I went to school with just found out they are expecting. Then this girl that I went to high school with to post...It's a BOY! I had no idea she was pregnant. Ok, I have to get off here because this is all to weird. It really feels all around me now. It just seemed like everywhere I was looking there were people saying they are pregnant or posting pictures of there little cuties. Sorry, to vent...just a rough day. :(