It will be starting soon!

Well, we are still about two weeks away from getting this party started, but it feels like it will be here really soon. I am leaving tomorrow for Alabama to spend the 4th with some great friends and do a little relaxing on the boat, Monday morning I leave for Chicago (for work), the following week I have some professional development that I am presenting, and then the 15th will be here.

July 15th is my doctors appointment. It is called my suppression check (words you understand- blood test and an ultrasound). This is done a few days prior to the start of stimulation to ensure that all is ready. If everything checks out I will start my injections on July 17th. With the injections (follicle stimulation hormone) the follicles start to grow and once they reach about 12 to 14mm, they will grow fairly predictably at a rate of 2mm per day they say. During this phase (10-12 days) of growth I will be monitored closely, sometimes as often as daily and or every other day; just depending on how things look. Then when everything looks right and my eggs are “ready” I will have my egg retrieval. The Egg Retrieval is a minor surgical procedure that takes around 45 minutes depending on the number of follicles, I will have anesthesia. I will be on bed rest for two days and they will keep me updated on my eggs and then embryos!! Our embryos will only grow in an incubators for 3 to 5 days. At this time, they must be transferred back into me! I keep saying embryos, but it is just one. I may have more embryos, but they will transplant one and the others will be frozen. If you are under 35 years old they just transfer one, sometimes two, but never more than that. The transfer may be done either on the third day after retrieval or on the fifth day. The transfer itself is relatively easy they say and it only takes a few minutes. Then I will have office visits for follow up blood work several times over the next 12 days. During this time I will take Progesterone shots, which I am not looking forward too! but whatever I have to do I will. If you have ever seen Progesterone it is thick and oily, which means a thick, large needle. Oww!!

Well, that is the brief story of IVF. I am very excited about this journey and looking forward to what God has in store for Casey and I. I appreciate and love you all. Thank you so much for caring so much and going on this journey with us. I will update again once I start injections to keep you up-to-date with my progress. I truly feel all of your love and support!!! Love you all!

Well, apparently I was a little off with my dates. Yes, we are starting the IVF process, but I have to take birth control for a month first. Yes, I know that sounds a little off since we are trying to have baby, but they say that using birth control pills before a treatment cycle has been shown to decrease your risk of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (ovaries become dangerously enlarged with fluid. This fluid can leak in to the belly and chest area, leading to complications, Very dangerous!) and ovarian cysts and may even improve the odds of success. So I will be on birth control pills for a month (no sugar pills). So I take about a pack and a half and then I will start the FSH injections, egg retrieval (not till the end of July), and progesterone shots. I will update you then, but there will not be much to say for a month. All I can say is prayer is powerful and much appreciated from anyone and everyone. We are so blessed with our wonderful family and friends. We love you all!

OUR JOURNEY

I started this blog about a year and a half ago. It started as something for me to just type out some things I was going through with infertility. I have decided now to tell others about it and use it as a way to tell others of our journey. Some of this post may be repetitive from past post, but I was just going to bring everyone up to speed.
We have had a lot of bumps in the road for us. When Casey and I got married 7 years ago today! We had said that we would wait 3 years to have a baby, but then after only being married for a year and half Casey got the itch. He began talking about us trying to get pregnant. I had to think about it. I told him I would mention it to my OBGYN when I went for my appointment in April 2005. After talking to the doctor I decided I would go off the pill and we would just see what happens. This process is much different for a female. When this decision is made you really want to be pregnant yesterday! Nobody really wants to “try” to get pregnant. Well, maybe the first few months it is a little fun, but not after that; it becomes a job. We tried for about 4 months and then Mama C got sick. So therefore, we were not using protection, but there was not a lot of trying taking place. When I went back to the doctor in April 2006 I told the doctor that I was not really worried, but we had been off all forms of birth control for a year. That is when we found out that I was not ovulating. The doctor put me on chlomid to try and jump start me, hoping to make me ovulate. I did that for a few months and I had to go back to the doctor every 21 days to check my levels and see if I was ovulating. After doing this for about a year and a half the doctor realized I was an irregular ovulator. Then the doctor asked me if Casey had been checked. I said no, so he said that would be our next step. That took a little convincing. Finally Casey realized that he was being selfish and had the semen analysis done. Everything came back normal. So know we had ruled that out. I just had to be on fertility drugs every month since I was irregular. Oh joy! Being on fertility drugs cause you to gain weight, which I did, just as I was told. That was and is still very hard on me. No matter what I did I could not lose weight. I consistently gained about 8-12 pounds every year. So not only has it been stressful emotionally for me, but also physically.
The doctor called me in November 2008 and said that he has been reviewing my chart and he thought I may have endometriosis. Apparently, I have a high tolerance of pain and I had never really complained about the pain. I just assumed that is what every woman went through with her period. After my appointment he decided that I needed to have laparoscopic surgery. I had the surgery in December 2008. The surgery showed that I did have endometriosis and he cleaned me out and told me that my best chances of getting pregnant would be within the year. If I was not pregnant in a year than the endometriosis most likely was not the cause of our problem.
We had high hopes that this was going to be our year. Then November 2009 rolled around and still no luck for us. We got the call that we were being referred to the fertility doctor. This was so depressing to me. I really felt like we had lost. We were not able to get pregnant on our own, the natural way; the way that everyone else in the world seems to be able to get pregnant. Not to mention the prices we have heard that come with fertility doctors. We went for our consult and blood work and it cost $420 dollars. I also got the diagnosis of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. PCOS is where your body produces too much insulin and testosterone, causing belly fat and cyst to grow on my ovaries. Not what I need!
With all of this news we scheduled an Intra-Uterine Insemination, IUI, which came with a nice price tag, and we tried that 3 times, unsuccessfully. After our third IUI attempt we got a call saying we needed to have another consult. We discussed everything that we have been through and then the doctor suggested an SPA, a semen penetration analysis, which makes sense, but seriously? She also told us that we needed to discuss IVF. So we scheduled our SPA, which was $650. This is where we got some news. We had Casey’s semen checked 4 times now and everything had come back normal, but when they did the SPA, to check the penetration, for the procedure the semen sits in an incubator for 24 hrs and then it is put with hamster eggs. This is how they tell whether the sperm knows how to penetrate the egg. Well, Casey’s sperm had all pretty much died within 24 hours. So we do not know if it knows how to penetrate an egg, they were unable to complete the test since so many had died. The doctor said that she thinks our problem is that the sperm is not living long enough to make it to my uterus. Not to mention my endometriosis and PCOS. So our answer: Anything can happen, but as far as the medical world is concerned our chances of becoming pregnant on our own is slim. It looks like In Vitro Fertilisation, IVF is our only chance of having our own biological child.
That is where we are now. Last Wednesday we had our IVF class. It was about 3 ½ hours long. We learned all about IVF and what we should expect. Casey and I learned how to give me my injections and learned about all the medication. We learned that we would start the procedure as soon as I started my next period, which should be this week for me. So wow! We are doing this and it is happening soon! Please keep us in your prayers.

IVF

We are about to start IVF...
We know that God has a plan for us and we hope that this process of In Vitro Fertilisation will be his plan and we will be successful.
I John 5:14
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.”
Matthew 21:22
“If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”
James 5:16
…"The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective”
I John 5:15
“And if we know that he hears us-whatever we ask-know that we have what we asked of him”
Please keep us in your prayers as we start this journey. I will keep you updated through the blog.

Consult

Yesterday was our consult at the fertility clinic. It was a little frustrating. I got a call at 3:30pm on Tuesday and I assumed it was a reminder for our appt. on Wednesday. No, it was to say that the doctors office scheduled us with the wrong doctor; is their anyway you can come in earlier? your doctor is not working tomorrow afternoon. The down side to that was that Casey was just out of town for a friends wedding and could not take off, plus we have had this appt for 6 weeks. Long story...Casey was not able to come, but it was not that big of a deal. Basically Casey had an SPA two weeks ago, she had called and given us a little bit of info, but she wanted to go over it in more detail. They also wanted to discuss IVF some more. So it was just me and she discussed that the SPA they did on Casey, well the SPA they attempted on Casey, they were unable to complete it. Apparently, he has good sperm count and descent mobility, but for some reason they do not live very long. So they are saying that the sperm do not live long enough to make it to my uterus, not to mention my issues with endometreosis and PCOS. Bottom line is God is amazing and he can perform a miracle any day, but as far as the medical/science world goes, Casey and my only chance of having a biological child will be through IVF. We got the price, which is $13,250 plus $216 for IVF class and additional blood work (not sure that price?). Whew! that is SO crazy to me. If it works, AMAZING! if it does not...trying not to think like that, but really hard not too! The IVF process takes about 5 to 6 weeks. We go for our IVF class June 9th and learn about everything. From there we will see when we will actually begin. I will keep you updated with the process. I know I will need to type it all out. I ask for any prayers and support as we begin this journey together. HOPING FOR THE BEST!!!

Defeated

I am just having one of those weeks I guess. I am feeling so defeated with everything (or that is how it feels). The weight gain is REALLY getting to me. I gained another 4 pounds with this last round of fertility. It really feels as though I will never have control of my body or weight again. This is very depressing to me. It seems as though lately I just do not even care (well, I do, but I act like it doesn't). I have the mentality that it doesn't matter what I do I am going to gain anyways; so sure go ahead and eat the ice cream! you have no control. I know this may all seem crazy, but it really scares me. I cannot believe how big I am. I think it may be worse because I was always so skinny. I can work out and watch what I eat and NOTHING! I have never lost weight in 5 years, well I will lose 2 or 3, then gain 6 back with a round of fertility. Ahhhh....
Then I was reading about PCOS, probably a bad idea, and it was not very hopefully about someone with PCOS losing weight. Losing weight is hard, but a person with PCOS is 5x harder. They also went on to say that a lot of doctors do not truly understand PCOS and the issue with the weight gain/loss. I feel that too! I guess I could change doctors, again! but for my last two physicals the doctor has discussed my weight and given me a goal of 10 pounds to lose, then I come back 10 pounds heavier! That is my average, 10 pounds a year. Then to top it all off we have been unsuccessful with our attempts at becoming pregnant. I feel as though I have become fat and unattractive. That is an everyday reminder in my mirror that I am still not a mother. Casey has his SPA next week; from their we will have a consult to discuss our options. Please pray for me to have an open mind and better attitude. It is really pulling me down. It has been 5 years now; April 23rd, 2005 I went off birth control. I never dreamed the roller coaster we would have been on since then.

Decisions

Well, we experienced our 3rd failed attempt at an IUI. I always try to stay positive and think every month that I truly am pregnant. This last time we both REALLY thought it was going to happen. So many things just made it seem like the month! I had the best follicles and numbers that I have ever had, Casey had the best count and mobility number that he had ever had, we would have been due December 24th (which I have always said I am NEVER having a baby around Christmas; mine is 10 days after and I hate it; but right now I do not care if I am in labor Christmas day! bring it on, thirds times a charm, etc...just lots of little things happened and it felt like everything was aligning correctly.

This is all so crazy and something you feel like you are experiencing all by yourself. We do not personally know anyone going through it. I am not sure if it would help if we did though?

Decisions: Adoption, IVF, take a break, Ahhhh....what to do, what to do??

I am not sure why, but adoption is just something I really cannot see myself doing right now. My mind may change. Right now I just think of keep trying treatments or just give up? Not sure how to just give up? Financially I am SO ready to give up. All I can think about is the money, which is extremely stressful. It is crazy to think that we could pay $12,000 and still not become pregnant and have to pay on a loan for a year knowing you still do not have a baby. They want to do a SPA (Semen Penetration Analysis) on Casey to see if his guys know how to penetrate an egg. That sounds so crazy to me! Yes, it makes sense, but still crazy! If that is the case then IVF is our only way of becoming pregnant. The average % rate of becoming pregnant through IVF is 42%, which does not seem high enough with everything you have to go through...financially, emotionally, physically, etc...It is so draining. So many decisions to be made.